While the frigid chill of winter has encompassed our bubble of a community and spring tiptoes closer and closer,  I have only one thought on my mind: college. Every day, every hour, almost each minute that thought is bustling somewhere inside my brain. Admission letters, scholarships, campus tours—the list is endless. I am a literal walking, college-programmed robot.

As more and more of my classmates make their decision, commit to a college and even begin their search for roommates, I can’t help but feel a sense of growing panic. That dreaded question “Do you know where you’re going yet?” pops up more often as the months pass, and I’m unable to stop myself from cringing every time I hear it.

No, I don’t know where I’m going yet, nor am I even close to deciding. I don’t know what I want to major in, and I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

Do I have some idea of what I want to do? Of course. I’ve been accepted to colleges, I’ve applied for scholarships, and I have options (sigh of relief). But I’m still miles away from complete emotional stability regarding college. It’s this constant weight on my shoulder that gets heavier and heavier as days pass, and yes, it’s causing me to go just a tad bit crazy.

But shouldn’t that be a necessary part of the process? I’d be more worried if I wasn’t this worried. I often find myself talking to certain people who are completely calm, cool and collected when it comes to college. My question for them: are you human? It’s difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that not everyone is as anxious about this as I am. But hey, everyone’s different, and everyone is dealing with this process in their own way.

So every once in a while, I have to remind myself to slow down. Organize my thoughts. Breathe. It’s going to be okay. Soon enough, I’ll make my decision, and I’ll have just a little bit less to worry about. Everything will slowly but surely fall in place, and stressing over making the perfect decision is a waste of time. Like my mom has said, there is no perfect college: you can be happy anywhere if you have the right attitude. And she’s right.

I’m going to steal my mom’s advice and give it to anyone else experiencing this flourishing sense of madness. College is scary, picking one is scarier, and thinking about your long-term future as a seventeen or eighteen year old is enough to push anyone over the edge. But if we just slow down, take it one step at a time, and keep our own needs, goals and desires in sight, it’ll be so much easier to manage this massive decision.

And of course, then we’ll make some time to focus on the important stuff, like prom, spring break and graduation. After all, it’s senior year. We deserve a little bit of fun.